of·the Moon // Celena De Luna
Authenticity. Quietness. || Im currently in a place of major transition---as i can imagine most of us are as well. It is the time for this. It is the time to question, once again, who we are and what we Really want -- no bullshit this time. I will be entering a new career very soon. One of my own. One that will reflect my current authentic expression of why i am here at this interesting time in life. As I jot all of these different reflections down of which direction i should gravitate towards, i was struck by something. This: ||| Shallowness freaks me out. Because abandonment is so interlaced with it. No one means to be shallow. We just aren't given the time because of tasks needed to be done, deadlines to be met, money to be made, and so on. I realised i want to dedicate myself to deepness. Because i am a introvert. And because that is constantly being undervalued and misunderstood. The melancholic is seen as boring, rude, stuck up, not entertaining enough, not stimulating enough. But there is so much more there to be seen in the quiet. There is such a deep desire for connection. For presence to what is beneath the surface. For understanding more than just words. The unspoken value of holding each other in conversation, to know you will be held and know that the other isn't going to leave suddenly. And there are many ways one leaves without physically leaving. And this only encourages the other to do the same -- spreading abandonment of self, leaving feeling empty and wondering why we are constantly 'hungry' for short time pleasure. For constant escape. ||| Whatever i choose to do, it will honor the quiet. Honor real expression. Honor awareness. And honor the emotions that we have starved for too long.