Gia Natalia Narvaez
A couple of days ago, one of my closest friends asked me why I get so uptight around men, why I'm not very friendly, and tend to just keep to myself. And it floored me, because I knew i did but I didnt think anyone really noticed. But the truth is I am fairly uncomfortable around men I dont know. This is mostly due to always having some sort of conditional and unhealthy relationship with men, be it friends, relatives or lovers. Since beginning my transition, ive noticed men are usually the culprit of judgment as opposed to women. Ive experienced so much discrimination, whether it was subtle or direct, that in a way I've guarded myself. I've built up walls made of distrust around myself, coated them in cynicism in hopes of never allowing myself, the spirit of gia, to be hurt. I've learned to trust in women, because I've been raised and nurtured by them. And in no way am I displacing the handful of men in my life that I am close with, if you're reading this you understand where I am coming from. But this is why I am the way I am. I once read a poem, that said something like "you've been violently shaken by the waves, and you are no longer a shiny piece of coral, instead you've got beautiful jagged edges, razor sharp curves, cutting into the rhythm of the waves." I guess you can say I am now that jagged piece of coral.